Category Archives: Purposeful living
The last third of the year can become unenjoyably busy for our family very easily, with ten family birthdays and our anniversary sprinkled in among the bustle of Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas. So in 2016 Greg and I resolved to designate one day from each weekend in October, November and December as an “at home only” day: no outings, no plans, no chores and no to-do list. We called it a family Sabbath, although we first instituted this for practical reasons and our own comfort rather than as an effort to obey the religious guidelines of Sabbath keeping.
When we first decided to implement this in October, I breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that we would benefit so much from the rest this boundary around our schedule would afford us. There was one problem though. The only date that worked well for Rowan and June’s joint birthday party fell on the same weekend that the huge Lego tour would be in town. The Lego event that Rowan has been asking to return to since he saw it the last time it came to town two years ago. The one I had been excited to take the kids to for months.
We looked at three different scenarios: attending an abbreviated weeknight Lego session, packing the Lego fest in on the same day as our at-home birthday party, or breaking our Sabbath guidelines and attending the beloved Lego event on the second day of that weekend. We decided to break our new rule and go to the event on the second day of the weekend. After all, we made the rule so that we could enjoy the holiday season more fully, and we knew we would all enjoy the Lego fun. This never sat right with me though. In seasons past when our busy-ness sapped our strength and joy, our schedule was (over) filled with fun, enjoyable things- no drudgery; yet the pace still wore on us. So I sensed that breaking our Sabbath boundary to avoid missing out on something fun and enjoyable was not going to work at all. I knew that every single weekend during this festival-and-party season, the prospect of something fun, memorable, important or educational would beckon to us, asking to be dropped into that emptied Sabbath calendar square. Still, I persisted. I told myself, “We’ll go to the Lego fest this one time, then that’s it- we’ll protect a Sabbath day each week through the end of the year.”
Two days before the big weekend, I went online to secure tickets. I had delayed, at first, because we were throwing around our scheduling options, and next due to reluctance mixed with a delusional belief that the less popular time slots wouldn’t sell out. In reality, all of the time slots for this hugely popular, once-every-two-years event sold out long before I got around to checking on tickets. So we didn’t go. After the excitement of their birthday party, the kids never even asked about the Lego event that weekend. They still haven’t- it just hasn’t come to mind. While I’m sure the event would have been a blast, I was surprised that there really was no sting in missing it. And we had a very restorative day at home instead.
That first experience illustrated to us the immense value of rest, and it revealed that the one obstacle that most often robs us of rest- the fear of missing out- is actually not a very formidable foe; it turns out that the thing we feared- the phantom prospect of missing out on something- never materialized at all. True, we did not attend the Lego event. But during our peaceful unplanned day spent at home, we did not miss it either.
This is how we started to implement the principles of Sabbath as a family. We continued this practice of keeping one weekend day clear for the rest of the year. We have enjoyed it so much that we are going to continue it indefinitely.
A quick look back:
Unbeknownst to me, this Sabbath idea was percolating at the beginning of 2016. Last year began with a post about The Big Rocks: Self-Care for Care Givers, which describes prioritizing items in your schedule which are of the most value to you, then fitting in less important or unimportant tasks around those big rocks. It seems as though the rest of last year was a slow, progressive implementation of that post as our family pared down our schedules and our possessions. That was providential because 2016 was indescribably stressful for me, with so many people, opinions and mistakes thrown into our well-established routine via the Medicaid hoops, nursing SNAFUs, invasion of our introvert sanctuary, the start and shuffling of twice-a-week therapies, the transition from ECI to the school system and ongoing nursing and Medicaid difficulties. This “Big Rocks” process of purposefully stewarding our time and energy protected my sanity last year. At the same time, I was completing an intensive spiritual discipleship program through our church which introduced me to the works of CS Lewis and other gifted Christian and Jewish theologians. As I studied, the themes of prioritizing my time and resources and seeking rest stood out to me, given my stress. Naturally this led to the study of the Sabbath, with is prominent in the Jewish theology I ventured into, and which is the subject of the Bible study I ultimately finished the year on (Priscilla Shirer’s Breathe).
A look ahead:
As I mentioned in the last post, however, this attention to rest and Sabbath results in less blogging. Or no blogging. So, while I have many topics and resources I would love to share, posts in 2017 may be sporatic. If you ever wish to check-in with us or ask a question, feel free to use the Contact button on the blog. We don’t expect any big medical changes for June this year, since she recently got her g-button out (WOOHOO), and her doctors want her trachea to grow for another year before re-evaluating options for another attempt at removing the trach. However, Greg is hoping to transition into a new professional field this year, so we are waiting to see what new adventure his school and career opportunities will bring to us as a family, in terms of our routine and location.
We are quite excited about the year ahead.
One week ago, the kids and I ventured out to the polls for early voting. The “big kids” (my 5-year-old, Rowan and my 3-year-old, June) had decided who they would vote for, hypothetically, by watching snippets of the debates. This was our pre-voting conversation- June contributing in ASL.
Me: OK, guys, let’s go vote!
June: I’m scared of boats.
Me: Not boat. Vote. V-O-T-E. [I showed her the ASL sign VOTE see here.]
June: Vote, not boat, V-O-T-E. What’s vote?
Me: It’s where I pick who I want to be in our government.
June: Who you vote for?
Me: I’m voting for Hillary Clinton.
Rowan: I’m voting for the same person, the girl in the red shirt [in the first debate].
June: I vote for the moon and stars.
Me: That sounds good, June. The election is very important because the people who we elect make decisions about our whole country.
Rowan: Maybe our president will help Ms. Clinton.
Me: Probably, because our president and Ms. Clinton are in the same political party.
June: OOh! I go vote. See the party.
Me: It’s a different kind of party. Ok, let’s go vote!
June: I vote. Not boat. With talker in my backpack. [Her new AAC device to communicate with people verbally.]
The kids and I excitedly made our way to the early voting location, which was conveniently located at a church that we frequent for Deaf ministry events.
Me: Ok now, we gotta be quiet while we choose.
Me: So other people can make their choices too. What’s happening here is very important.
Me: Well, whoever wins will be president until you are nine years old. And we want to pick the people who will make the choices that we want them to.
June: I pick the stars and moon and water.
While explaining our voting experience to Greg, later–
Rowan: We picked Ms. Clinton! She’s our president now.
Me: No, actually, we don’t know who won yet. Everyone in the country gets to vote, then only one person wins.
Rowan: Why is that?
Me: Because our country only has one president, and everyone gets to vote for which person they want to win. On election day we’ll keep track of it on a big map and find out who the next president is.
Tomorrow is the big day!
Our post on this year’s curriculum choices is so belated that most homeschool bloggers are writing about how their first 6 or 9 weeks went. So I’ll just roll that info in here, too.
Last year, our approach was so informal that I put quotes around “homeschool curriculum” in the post title. Last year went wonderfully- the self-directed route was a great fit for both of the kids. This year I felt that, given the kids’ increased attention spans, budding spirit of cooperation and interest in learning, we could add a little more structure. So we have more formal curricula included this year, which we work on during a morning routine. We retained a lot of the self-directedness though, by using a self-paced workbox system and leaving the vast majority of the day unscheduled. Still, I had expected some resistance to the structure, but I was pleasantly surprised that the kids *love* it. They ask to do homeschool on the weekends. This is what we are up to:
What it is:
This curriculum establishes a broad base of knowledge, covering facts from history, geography, science, art, music, English, Latin and math each week. The “memory work” for the week is available on CD, and many key facts are incorporated into (good, catchy) songs. Key points from history are depicted on big, colorful “timeline cards,” and science likewise on science cards. Each week includes a science project, often from the book “Van Cleave’s 201 Awesome, Magical, Bizarre, and Incredible Experiments,” and an art or music project.
How this is going:
Won.der.ful.ly. Top reasons I love this curriculum:
- The broad base of knowledge the kids are exposed to is the perfect medium for inspiring self-directed learning.
- The kids fight over who gets to hold the timeline cards when we review them because they are fascinated by the pictures. Rowan says that ancient artifacts look like dinosaur fossils.
- The curriculum INCLUDES ASL ALREADY. The awesome Timeline Song that recites all 161 historical events from the timeline cards has accompanying ASL hand motions.
- Although we aren’t joining one this year, there are Classical Conversations communities all over the country that meet weekly, which makes it very easy to connect with other families who are learning the same thing. Being in a metro area, we have at least 6 communities within 15 miles of us, and the one we visited recently was amazing.
- As far as curricula go, it is very affordable. The items we invested in (and scored used copies) are designed to last through elementary and even into middle school years.
We’re sticking with parts of the Letter of the Week curriculum from Confessions of a Homeschooler including all of the morning routine (date, days of the week, weather, shape/number/letter of the week, Bible verse), preschool notebook pages, all of the coloring sheets of the week, and the neat Chicka Tree idea in which every Friday we post our letter of the week to our big tree. Both of the “big kids” know their ABCs already, but we use the coloring pages for fine motor practice and art, and we tie the letter of the week into June’s speech practice and Rowan’s writing/reading.
Rowan is using Explode the Code and BOB books to practice reading and writing. We both got used to the Explode the Code’s illustrations, so they aren’t causing frustration like last year.
We are using Life of Fred, a unique story-based exploration of math concepts. Rowan loves the stories, but the math concepts quickly became a little more complex than what we are looking for. So most weeks we keep Fred on hold and Greg and I make up word problems for the kids as we come across simple real-life math.
We were very fortunate to have a private ASL tutor for most of this year provided through Early Childhood Intervention. (I had to fight mightily for this, since June is not deaf, so any parents of non-verbal children who are seeking ASL support, I will be glad to pass on my experience and that of other parents who advised me.) Now that June turned 3 and is no longer in ECI, we are studying ASL independently through LifePrint’s courses at www.asl.tc, and staying involved in the local Deaf community. A good number of kids in the homeschool social group that we joined are learning ASL as well, so June has peers to sign with on play dates.
At three, June transitioned from ECI into the school district, which will provide speech services. Voice experts at our hospital say that the sounds June is making with her Passy-Muir speaking valve are made with her “false cords” only, not her vocal cords (which may be paralyzed). Still, they believe she should learn the mechanics of speech via therapy, despite the currently reliance on her false cords. Rowan is eager for June to be able to communicate verbally, since interpreting her signs often take several guesses, so he often coaches her to practice her speech. The school will also provide an augmentative communication device (a tablet with Proloquo2Go on it) eventually, which June can use to speak for her while she’s still learning to develop her speech.
Much of our learning is done outside of the house, whether it’s our neighborhood park or a museum downtown. Our homeschool social group has a dozen or more events per month that we can join. Also, local parks, libraries, museums, churches, businesses, schools, organizations, and neighborhoods offer a dizzying number of free events every month as well. And there are many paid options, too, especially as more gyms, dance studios, art classes, book stores, science labs etc are offering homeschool classes scheduled during weekdays.